Sorry so long away.

I am the reason that this site has fallen off.  I am the reason that it has not had any posts for a very long time.  I am the reason no information of the wonderful giving people around us have not been recognized.  I am sorry.

This last year has shown how much more work still remains for me and my wife.  I have sat down at this computer 100’s of times to write, but, I could just not do it.   Perhaps it was writers block.  More likely, it was just to difficult.  It is still to painful and/or raw at times.  I have to fight this and get better.  This is my goal and my purpose.

The reason for this website and BLOG is to remember the life of our beautiful daughter.  It is also to give hope to anyone that might come across it and need to know that you can survive the suicide of a loved one.  This is how we are trying to do it.  I am sorry that I just did not have it in my ti write for such a long time.  Many tears and many sleepless nights have happened as I have sat at this keyboard to write.  I promised myself to post this no matter how unreadable or rambling it may be.  Maybe it is the next step in my therapy.

We have been constantly in Therapy since our Ciarra decided to take her own life.  It has not been easy.  One thing though is that it has allowed us to embrace the people that we are now.  I know that we are different.  We have to be. We will live on. We will continue to try and raise awareness of Teen Suicide.  We never want another family to feel the anguish that we do.  I will continue to write about our journey, just not in this post.

This post is about the next Ciarra Joi Rhodes Memorial Softball Tournament.  The background of this is that a few months after we lost our daughter, a small group of wonderful people approached us about having a Softball Charity Tournament to raise both awareness and money for Suicide prevention charities.  We agreed and were very thankful.  We had no idea what would become of this.  In year one we raised 5,000 Euro to donate to charity.  Year two saw that number raise up to 11,000 Euros donated.  This would not be possible without the help of many.  The main group of Ray Domenech, Jimmy McKenna, Drew Chesser, Todd Lee, William Childs, Samantha Müller and, of course, their families.  We will forever be in your debt for all that you have done and continue to do.  Bless you all!  There are many many others that have helped that I have not named.  I could not name all  but, we thank you all.

This year we will have the CJR3 Memorial from 27 May to 29 May 2016 in Babenhausen.  The amount of teams that want to get into this tournament is overwhelming.  It has become not just another tournament.  It has become a signature softball event in Europe.  All for charity.  I will be more active here about this event.   We are always looking for helpers and sponsors.  We will always donate 100% of monies brought in to charity.  We will honor her this way. Helping was her.  It is now her legacy.  It is our mission statement.

I again apologize for not being able to bring myself to write over this past very often.  I promise to get better.  I thank you for taking the time to read this and caring.  We know that there are so many there for us.

I love you Ciarra!!



About Dusty

I am the father of Ciarra Joi "CJ" Rhodes. I am the man blessed to have 13 and a half years with my beautiful daughter. I am also the survivor of her teenage suicide. I miss her every minute of every day! I hope this site will keep her memory alive and maybe help others.

4 thoughts on “Sorry so long away.

  1. Catja

    Dear Dusty and Martina – Ciarra remains deeply in our hearts and thoughts. God bless your engagement against Teen-suicide and fill your souls with his freedom.

    • Danke Catja. Our knowing that Ciarra is not forgotten means so much to us.

  2. Sondra

    No one thinks badly that you haven’t written. You have suffered absolutely the hardest thing any parent could imagine. The remarkable thing is that you have the will to go on and the strength to help other people. We won’t forget her. Even in your darkest hours, when you can’t bring yourself to write, we are still here, quietly waiting and praying for you. Be gentle on yourself.

    • Thank you. I know that you deal everyday. Your words mean a lot!

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