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By thamike.com
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Creu's Crisis Center

Dear Zuecreu,

All my life I've tried to stand out in a crowd and be cool, much like you. I was wondering if you have any advice for an aspiring Zuecrue.

Your Fan,
- Rick


OK Let's Start The Healing You Fucking Losers

Dear protege wanna be Rick,

First and foremost, we have to lose the name Rick. How about we call you Kindacrue.

Dear Kindacrue:

That's better. Second did you realize your last name spelled backwards is  "Suc e tteks". You know like "sucka dicks". Hey we could call you "Rick Sucka Dicks". Anyway I had to get that out. I usually won't take on a understudy. In your pathetic case I still won't make any exceptions.

But I will try to tell you how to do it on your own. If that is even possible. See you need to understand you will never be more then you think you are. Being cool as you put it is pretty fucking lame. Who uses cool anymore? I know nerds that don't use cool.

Without any vital stats on you it's hard to pin point what you need to do to stand out in a crowd. How about trying to be less of a loser and more of a positive thinker. If someone don't like what you have to say or what you are, simply tell them, "Back the fuck off me, or the hurtin will start." Now after you get a few ass whoopins most people will think your nuts.And you'll stand out in a crowd real quick. There is now shame in being the wild card.People love the wild card.

From this point you move onto being "cool".This is where the lesson ends.You are not "cool, hip, stylin, smooth or a badass". Your some whiny little guy,who watches to much Wizard of oz and doesn't know why he needs help on his skills. Sorry my friend not even I can help you. Only because I can't be seen talking to, let alone coaching some loser on the art of  "Skills-ology". It's like teaching a frog to bake a cake. It's just not going to happen.Sorry Rick Sucka Dicks, I just can't be asscioated with a man of lesser talent.

Thank you for your letter, and you can keep Kindacrue if you like. That's all I can give and that is a lot coming from me.

Zuecreu

Click here to submit to Creu's Crisis Center


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