Dear
Zuecreu,
All my life I've tried
to stand out in a crowd and be cool,
much like you. I was wondering if you
have any advice for an aspiring Zuecrue.
Your Fan,
- Rick
OK Let's Start
The Healing You Fucking Losers
Dear
protege wanna be Rick,
First and foremost, we have to lose
the name Rick. How about we call you
Kindacrue.
Dear
Kindacrue:
That's better. Second did you realize
your last name spelled backwards is
"Suc e tteks". You
know like "sucka dicks".
Hey we could call you "Rick Sucka
Dicks". Anyway I had to get that
out. I usually won't take on a understudy.
In your pathetic case I still won't
make any exceptions.
But I will try to tell you how to
do it on your own. If that is even
possible. See you need to understand
you will never be more then you think
you are. Being cool as you put it
is pretty fucking lame. Who uses cool
anymore? I know nerds that don't use
cool.
Without any vital stats on you it's
hard to pin point what you need to
do to stand out in a crowd. How about
trying to be less of a loser and more
of a positive thinker. If someone
don't like what you have to say or
what you are, simply tell them, "Back
the fuck off me, or the hurtin will
start." Now after you get a few
ass whoopins most people will think
your nuts.And you'll stand out in
a crowd real quick. There is now shame
in being the wild card.People love
the wild card.
From this point you move onto being
"cool".This is where the
lesson ends.You are not "cool,
hip, stylin, smooth or a badass".
Your some whiny little guy,who watches
to much Wizard of oz and doesn't know
why he needs help on his skills. Sorry
my friend not even I can help you.
Only because I can't be seen talking
to, let alone coaching some loser
on the art of "Skills-ology".
It's like teaching a frog to bake
a cake. It's just not going to happen.Sorry
Rick Sucka Dicks, I just can't be
asscioated with a man of lesser talent.
Thank you for your letter, and you
can keep Kindacrue if you like. That's
all I can give and that is a lot coming
from me.
Zuecreu
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