But,
despite police's best efforts, he just
may have. The Kool-Aid Man was last
seen fleeing the scene of the crime.
As his innards sloshed about within
the pitcher he screamed, "OH YEEEEAH!!
I CAN'T WASH THE BLOOD OFF MY HANDS!!"
No word yet about his current whereabouts,
but it is suspected that he is hiding
with fellow multiple felon and close
friend, Punchy, the Hawaiian Punch mascot.
Wanted for a total of over three-hundred
and fifty separate accounts of assault
and battery, various crimes against
nature, murder, and sexual assault,
there is a combined bounty of $250,000
on the duo's heads for anyone who can
give a tip leading to an arrest.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Michael
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