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By thamike.com
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Bush Campaign on Temporary Hiatus

KENNEBUNKPORT, MAINE - This week, President Bush's re-election campaign announced that it would be taking a two week hiatus for "urgent administrative issues." Sources inside the White House state that the real reason for the campaign lapse has more to do with personal matters.
 
Those sources say that the President, and all of the Bush family ancestors for at least five previous generations suffer from a rare genetic disorder known as Clement's Syndrome. Clement's is a focused form of hirsuitism that causes unchecked hair growth in all pubic areas of the body.
 
"Sure, he's asked me for help in the past," comments Presidential Barber, Howard "Butch" James, "and I've done everything I can for him." James goes on to mention that the accelerated pubic hair growth is just too much to deal with. "I've seen GW come in here with armpit hair down to his elbows after just a month.

Bush
A Screen Shot Of The
Computer-Guided Laser Hair
Removal System In Action

I had to use hedge trimmers just to cut through the anti-perspirant-paste dreadlocks. You can just imagine what goes on in his nether regions."

But we'd rather not.
 
For the next two weeks, President Bush will be in Philadelphia, PA undergoing a rigorous regimen of laser hair removal sessions at the Sona Laser Hair Removal Center.
 
"We've arranged for the President to have a personal suite for the duration of his stay, and a team of technicians will be working around the clock to get him back on the campaign trail as soon as possible," comments Dick Pitfur, Sona's press coordinator.
 
So far the White House's press relations people have neither confirmed nor denied whether this is the case. They only say the President will be back to the campaign as soon as possible.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux Mason


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