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By thamike.com
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New Web Site Attracts FBI / CIA Attention

HOLE, MT - Earlier this week, a joint FBI/CIA task force stormed the home of Webmaster Jordan “Sparks” Kapp, in search of illegal substances and biological weapons manufacturing equipment. What they found was a lonely
“geek,” lots of empty food containers, and stacks of computer equipment - somefunctional, some not.

When Sparks agreed to help the famous band with their new Web site, http://www.SendSomebodyAnthrax.com, he had no idea that it would lead the “feds” to his door.

“To be honest, we were stumped about who had been sending the anthrax in the mail. To be even more honest, we never really tried to hard to find the culprit,” explained FBI Assistant Director Skinner. “We knew that G.W. was probably sending it to help get support for funding the war he wanted to start. When he got his way, the anthrax mailings stopped and we forgot about it. But when Special Agent Jacobson found this site while doing a search for sites about the Snuggle bear, we were sure that we had a solid lead. Rather than looking at the site to see what it was actually about, we just figured we’d raid this place first and ask questions later. We do most stuff that way.”

Kid-Gun

Sparks explained the premise of SendSomebodyAnthrax.com to Faux-Newz. “Basically,” he said, “Scott Ian and his boys aren’t rockin’ quite as hard as they used to, so they’ve started this site for some supplemental income. Basically, if you have a friend who really digs Anthrax, you can place orders here for a member of the band to deliver a singing telegram to them. Or, if there’s a company you’re really pissed at, you can have one of the guys go to that company’s office and cause a scene until things are fixed, or the cops come.

Just think how fun it would be to send Anthrax to the AT&T call center, or to plead your speeding ticket for you in court, or as a gift to the bitch who flunked you in ninth-grade Algebra!”

When asked if the government planned to apologize to Sparks or Anthrax, Skinner said, “We're almost always wrong, but we never apologize.”

As the officials drove off, Sparks grinned sideways and muttered, “Guess it's time to send a little Anthrax to the FBI.”

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux


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