Washington D.C. - Earlier this week, President Bush announced that he would be resigning as President.  This was based largely on the fact that an envoy from nearby solar system, Alpha Centauri arrived on Earth this Sunday and demanded the President’s presence in the distant solar system.
 
“We need a being that has great wisdom and strength when it comes to foreign policy,” Dipsh!khl-Ah, the captain of Spacecraft Romulus 3 said.  “This human,” indicating George W. Bush, “fits our standards.”
 
Apparently, the Planet F-411, is having a bit of a problem with planet X-J5966-T. Despite being a distant planet, X-J5966-T is one rife with minerals integral to Centaurian survival.  Planet F-411 needs these minerals, and the cruel despot who rules X-J5966-T is not one to bend easily.  This is the reason that these otherworldly creatures have come to Earth.
 
“We promise to return him after he has given us full council on the matter of foreign relations,” said Dipsh!khl-Ah. “In good time he will be back.  But we have a replacement until then.”   As the anxious public rumbled with suspicion, the alien ducked into his spacecraft and then produced a mid-sized fern from inside.
 
“Behold your new leader,” he proudly announced. “This is truly a great day for the quest for inter-galactic peace and harmony.” A smiling and waving President Bush was then ushered into the spacecraft, which launched approximately 45 seconds later.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika