A
spokesperson for Verizon issued a statement
from the company’s New York headquarters
confirming a lawsuit was brought against
them on behalf of William Joseph Robert
Johnson III of Ichindacrotch, Tennessee.
In his
suit, Billy Joe Bob Johnson claims that
he was the one to come up with the phrase,
“Can you hear me now,” made
famous in Verizon’s latest advertising
campaign.In a Faux-Newz exclusive, our
reporters were able to catch up with
Mr. Johnson at his home in the Roasted
Varmint Mobile Dwellings Community.
When asked about how and when he came
up with the phrase, Mr. Johnson told
Faux-Newz that in response to many complaints
about sounds that emanated from his
outhouse during his morning constitutionals,
he felt the need to make a change. In
an effort to be more polite, whenever
he would feel about of unusually forceful
flatulence coming on, he would try to
muffle the sound.
In order to ascertain his success at
suppressing the noxious noises, he would
ask “Can you hear me now?”.
An associate at Verizon, who spoke on
the condition of anonymity, admitted
that this is not the first time the
company has been taken to court by “a
giant hillbilly from the Tennessee backwoods”.
Faux-Newz did attempt to reach Scooter McGunderson
(the highly recognizable “Can
you hear me now” actor in the
advertisements) at his parents’
basement, where he lives. However, our
reporters were told that Verizon’s
lawyers have advised him not to comment
on this case.
Written
& Submitted by
Abe S |