For years, smaller schools and private schools have been far ahead of large urban public schools in every academic way. In recent times, some of these smaller schools have even managed to come up with sports programs that weren'tcompletely laughable.

However, people have always assumed that urban public schoolswould always hold the highest ranks in the categories that really matter: suicides and numbers of guns. But no longer must the little “Poindexters” and “Dexterettes” hang their heads in shame.

Sociology of Education recently released findings of Texas State University professor Toni Terling Watt that private school students pack heat and kill themselves not only aswell as everyone else, but actually better.