As the weeks wind down, and partisan
rancor is getting more and more bitter
on each side (but mostly on the part
of those fucking Republicans), it seems
that a new call is needed, a call for
a return to civility. A new spirit of
togetherness that will unite us against
the common enemy of whoever the fuck
it is we're pissed off that week (hint:
look for an American flag on the Eiffel
Tower next January).
But I say...fuck it. Fuck bipartisan
action, fuck getting together, fuck
letting the Republicans getting away
with this shit about "flip-flopping"
and so on. Just fucking fuck it.
I say to hell with the President, he's
a fucking retard. We all know it, I
just had the cahones to say it. Muthafucka
better watch his ass come November,
I might have to get my posse together
and cap his sorry white ass. In case
the Secret Service just tapped my phone
line and is now setting up a raid on
my mountain compound, let me say I was
in jest. I won't kill him, I'll just
ram a red-hot poker up his ass.
Fuck the Presiden't wife, fuck his kids
(I'd like to fuck the hot one, not fugly
Jenna but What's-Her-Name), fuck his
parents, fuck his money, fuck his "homespun
common wisdom", fuck the fucking
Patriot Act, andwill someone please
tell Lee Greenwood his fucking career's
been over since 198-fucking-4?!
Fuck Dick Cheney, I hope he has a massive
heart attack...and then has to watch
his lesbo daughter gettin' it on right
in front of his comatose ass.
Fuck Fox News, sons-a-bitches never
tell the truth. Well, except for that
one time Iraq bombed the shit out of
us, and we had to invade them to make
up for it. Thanks, dickless wonders.
Fuck the GOP. Yes, the fucking GOP needs
to go the way of the Know-Nothings,
the Whigs, and the Southern Democrats.
Muthafuckas been giving us a bad name
as a nation.
Fuck country music. After Johnny Cash
and Willie and Waylon, you're just a
bunch of botoxed trailer park whores
and small-dicked pansy-ass faggots in
cowboy hats. Fuck Toby Keith, fuck the
whole "we hate the Dixie Chicks"
shit. You motherfuckers in Nashville
wouldn't have any cash if it weren't
for those fat asses. Quit your whining
and assume the position.
Finally, fuck Florida. Fuck 'em in advance,
if they're planning a repeat of Indecision
2000. Fucking hurricanes are a sign
from God, you jackasses. You fuck with
America, you will get fucked. I'm sorry
but that's the way it goes.
Fuck me, I'm tired. Fuck this shit,
I can't wait for Bush's early retirement...unless
any of you fuckers are planning on wasting
your votes on Nader again. In that case......fuck
you, assholes!
Written
& Submitted by
T.L. Shitfuck, Angry American |