OK Let's Start The Healing You Fucking Losers

Dear A lil' too Big,

First of all, Lil' and big do not belong together, to explain your predicament. Secondly, you never once mentioned exercising. What are you, some lazy fat pig? Get off your tub-o jell-o ass and try walking, or lifting weights. I don't know if you realize it or not, but lifting the slice of pizza to your over sized mouth is not the definition of working out. Neither is walking to the fridge for left-overs.

Pills can work, but only if you buy the special "I'm-an-idiot-for-buying-weight-loss-pills-and-to-lazy-to-do-the-work-myself special bottled water" to wash the pills down. You seem pretty stupid, so I will be more than happy sell this "special" water to you. I accept payments thru Pay Pal.

Now, eating less is a good start. Eating "less then usual" can mean a lot of different things, though. If eating less then usual is 2 buckets of chicken and a case of biscuits and a diet coke, instead of 2 and a half buckets, a case and a half of biscuits, and a straight coke, your not even fooling the KFC punk at the counter.

Look. Get up off of your ass, eat a well proportioned meal, and start off with some simple walking around the block. As far as losing weight fast is concerned, I suggest wiring your mouth shut, keeping your fridge at your mom’s house, getting rid of the car, stapling your stomach, putting mirrors on all your walls, ceilings, and floors, and walk around naked.

If you want to do all of this with the notion that, one fine day, you'll lose some weight and be able to get any guy/girl you want, e-mail me when you reach this goal and you're at your ideal weight. Then we can work on getting you a personality to go with your new look.

Hope it helped,
Zuecreu