FROM
THE MIDNIGHT SUN WHERE
THE HOT SPRINGS BLOW - Despite
rumors that Robert Plant's
garbage was involved in
a fatal car accident, Plant's
penis' press contacts dictate
that the most legendary
unit of classic Rock was,
indeed, not in that accident.
The three-car accident involving two vehicles from a funeral precession
for a man police are only identifying as a "Mr. Cash," and
a man's penis which looked very similar to Plant's occurred early Sunday
morning. The package, who instigated the accident, was in fact that
of The Who singer Roger Daltrey.
No one in the Cash procession was fatally wounded, but paramedics could
not save Mr. Daltrey's schlong, and it died on the way to the hospital.
Daltrey had this to say about the incident involving his penis:
"Oh fuck..."
"I guess the age-old argument's over, Zeppelin wins!" Plant's member
jokes.