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By thamike.com
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Breakthrough Drug Promises Relief, Side-Effects

SACREMENTO, CA - A new breakthrough drug, Plexium 3,  promises relief and side-effects for all who take it.
 
The new TV ad for the drug shows a happy family in denim outfits running through a field of wheat.  
 
“ [The ad] says it causes anal leakage,” says viewer Esther Paulson, “But those folks in the ad are just so happy.  I will definitely ask my doctor about Plexium 3.”
 
According to Dr. Richard Forsythe, “Plexium 3 could be integral to your well being. It will make you stand in a beautiful meadow and inhale in relief with your eyes closed.  Please, before it’s too late, ask your physician about Plexium 3.”

Drug
Plexium 3

Though many have questioned the effectiveness of the drug, Plexium 3 sales are on the rise. 
 
 “ It seems like it does more good than harm. I’ll take this Flexium whatever,” says Connie Barlow, of Naperville, IL, who has no known health problems.
 
Side effects listed in the ad include:  Anal leakage, nausea, delirium, hair loss, sexual problems in infants, sudden gender-switch, asphyxiation, change of eye color, internal bleeding, external bleeding, the sudden urge to impersonate waterfowl, vaginal deformation, violent tendencies  (Puerto Rico & Samoa only), hatred of the deaf, hives, headache, allergic reaction to self, agoraphobia, psoriasis,  reanimation of the dead, nosebleeds, and hernia. It can also be fatal to those in a certain tax bracket
 
Representatives for Plufaxin, the creator of Plexium 3, were unavailable for comment.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika


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