This is our promise
to the American people: We will not
rest until every arm is bared and everything
bare is armed, if need be."
Downplaying concerned responses about
the growing military overtones of her
attorney-led organization, Lott emphasized
that she in no way foresaw the need
to resort to violence, especially in
light of the ease with which voter sentiment
and voting machines can currently be
controlled, particularly in Ohio.
She repeated that the attorneys' intention
in this case was to be absolutely unwavering
and unwaffling, demonstrating principled
leadership, decisiveness and moral authority
at all turns. They are committed to
their principles, she clarified, and
want to let America know that they will
not compromise on this important moral
value, no matter what it takes.
At issue was Milkinggitt's desire to
self-pleasure on her downtown Mumsford
1890's row house front porch. Authorities
for D.I.M.P.L., the Downtown Improvements
for Mumsford Property and Landowners
association, quickly saw Mumford's lighted
display of sex toys and loud moans as
a threat to already declining property
values in this historic but increasingly
dilapidated 4-block area.
Milkinggitt's attorneys framed the issue
in terms of her constitutional right
to privacy and her rights under the
law as a property owner. Milkinggitt
claims that she bought her house with
a specific intent to use the open-air
front porch as an ideal outdoor location
for self-pleasuring. Her attorneys claim
that preventing Milkinggitt from proceeding
with her intended use of the property,
which is not in conflict with current
zoning regulations, decreases its value
to her.
Negotiations with the town of Mumsford
to compensate Milkinggitt monetarily
are currently in process. There were
no further comments about the status
of negotiations at this time from either
Milkingitt's attorneys or the Mumsford
Town Council.
Iona Lott repeated at a press conference
this afternoon that they would consider
every and any option available, including
a ballot initiative. Lott refuted assertions
that further action could divide an
already polarized Ohio and nation at
this time, stating instead that this
was the one issue that could pull both
sides of the country - reds and blues,
together. "There's nothing wrong
with reds and blues, all that's missing
is the white and we have the American
flag. I'm a red and blue blooded patriotic
American," insisted Lott. "This
issue will bring out the white by showing
the connection between positions that
are currently viewed as exclusively
liberal or exclusively conservative
agendas. It's the missing link of hope
our country so sorely needs," she
continued.
On further probing Lott proceeded to
reveal the logic behind her passion.
"We are reaching out to form a
broad coalition with landowners currently
fighting environmental regulations which
place limits on their land-use rights.
We are also reaching out to pro-choice
activists in terms of support for Milkinggitt's
right to privacy, that is, her right
to dominion over her own body."
Lott holds a very clear vision that
this case could be the issue which brings
liberals and conservatives, feminists
and property owners together under one
roof, so to speak. "
We expect broad bi-partisan support
and are very hopeful about the outcome.
We are also pleased to be able to provide
contract employment for a wide array
of attorneys and thereby decreasing
the jobless rate in Ohio and nationwide,
and so we are hoping for endorsement
from the Bush Administration as well."The
Bush Administration could not be reached
for comment.
Written
& Submitted by
Carah Fremont
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