"We just can't fathom how any of the major strides in Christian thought can account for the series of events that contributed to a Boston Red Sox victory. I'm afraid we have to throw out everything we know, in order to understand how this could happen."

Similarly, leaders in the Muslim world have also found it hard to relate the Red Sox's victory to their holy scriptures. "We have no way of knowing why Allah would cause this crisis of faith," Mullah Oban De-Murray said to followers at the Detroit Muslim-American Center and Indian Casino. "Surely everything we think we know about jihad and the will of the Prophet must be wrong, but why?"

Buddhists aren't immune to the philosophical shake-up either, as evidenced in a security video from O'Hare Airport in which the usually genial monks seen at such public areas are shown smoking cigarettes, tripping up old ladies, and sexually harassing young women.

With all the excitement about the Red Sox, the notion that philosophical concepts such as existentialism, the meaning of life, and the transcendence of man's soul could be brought into question are on the backburner for most Americans. But most professionals fear this is only the beginning of a rampant strain of religious doubt and soul-searching to take hold of the once-faithful American people.

Atheism is on the rise after last week's victory, most alarmingly in the greater New York metropolitan area. But most officials believe the torrent of religious emotion will subside with the prophesized victory of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in six games over the Reds next year.

Written & Submitted by
Trev Danger - Sportswriter In Name Only