breaking point was when he bought, with
the allowance I give him, a
Nelly album. 'It's getting hot in here,
so take off all your clothes?' What
the fuck is that? It's not music, that's
for sure. I told him 'Look, you're white,
you went to the most privileged schools
we could get you into ever since preschool
so I know you can speak proper English,
and you were raised on Johnny Cash,
so if you don't cut this shit out you
can go,' And that was that. I kicked
his 'black' ass out the next day."
"Yoyoyo dat nigga be TRIPPIN. He
angry cuz I got da hot ice flava flaaaaave
and he got jack and shit, and jack left
town, yo! AAAAAH DAAWG, DAT WAS FROM
ARMY OF DARKNESS, DA BEST MOVIE EVA.
Ah, shit, I mean FRIDAY. Yeah, FRIDAY,
HOME SKILLET. But yo man, I was like
'Look Pops, don't be callin' me Paul
and be makin' me listen to yo damn Danzig
CDs an' shit. I'm P-Dizzle, I'm in the
hizzle, and dis ain't no fad, I'm practically
black FO SHIZZLE. G-G-G-G-G-UNIT!' And
den dat nigga' went 'oops' upside mah
head. So I said fuck it, I can make
a livin' on mah mad rhymin' skillz."
We at Faux-Newz must ask, is it right
to punish your children for getting
caught up in dumb, international fads,
such as the "ghetto fever"
we're seeing now?
"Kicking him out may have been
extreme, but fuck, if I heard one more
song about ice or dubs or whatever,
I would have killed the fucking kid.
I mean, Christ, at least listen to some
rappers with artistic integrity. Am
I racist? No, not at all. Trashy, stupid
behavior is trashy and stupid no matter
what race. I would have kicked him out
if he tried to grope his sister and
to Jeff Foxworthy all day, too."
Many other fathers have followed Jerry's
lead and have kicked out their children
until they stop listening to MTV and
learn who they are. Wegros, Japanese
wannabe anime-freaks, Goth poseurs,
watch yourselves, because your parents
aren't putting up with your stupid crap
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer