More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Highly Respected Event Planner Fired After Huge Mistake

ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - It was supposed to be a day of happiness. People were arriving from all over the country to share success stories about their weight loss. Richard Simmons was about to arrive, decked out in his newest outfit, and the banquet hall looked beautiful. There was just one problem.
The Event Planner, Sue Ellen Rampler had not gone with the typical sit down dinner that is always used in this situation. She, in fact, set up an All You Can Eat Buffet for the annual “Slimaway Everyday” Success Stories Gala.
Head Waiter Zach Buckhart said of the mistake, “It was just terrible, as soon as the guests arrived, they saw the buffet table and ran as fast as their fat legs could take them to stuff their porky faces. The floor was shaking, items fell off the walls and I lost a few of my sub waiters who were unfortunately trampled in the stampede.”

According to witnesses, the guests proceeded in stuffing their faces as fast as they possibly could and when Simmons walked through the door and saw the fatty AYCE free for all he started screaming about controlling their appetites and that they weren’t using their “Foodmover.”

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When asked what a “Foodmover” was, Simmons said, “Well, it’s a USDA Food Pyramid, it teaches you healthy choices and portion control to guarantee success.”
After answering this question, Simmons broke into tears and ran out of the room screaming, “We were supposed to dance and have fun. Now there will be no one sweating off the pounds to Maniac and Freeway of Love!”

“It is not known whether there will be an event next year, but it is certain that Mrs. Rampler will never work as an event planner in Atlantic City again.
“We will certainly consider taking legal action against her. I don’t think Richard will ever recover from the scene he saw today,” said Yoshrio Tugata, who is Mr. Simmons Publicist.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike

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