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By thamike.com
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New Line Cinema Announces Prequel to Lord of the Rings

LOS ANGELES, CA - The December release of “The Return of the King,” the final installment of the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, is being met by fans of the series with both excitement and disappointment.  Millions of nerds around the world have voiced their regret, that the conclusion of the series will mark the end of an era in cinematic perfection.
 
Faced with the clamor of such a sizeable body of virgin admirers, director Peter Jackson has decided to continue the saga by filming “The Hobbit,” the novel that takes place in time before the war of the ring.  New Line Cinema green lighted the project before Jackson had parked his car in the studio parking lot.
 
Toby Emerich, the president of New Line productions told the press, “This film is a cash cow.  How could I possibly deny the public what they want?  Hell, I didn’t even know that there was a prequel to the Lord of the Rings.  I thought we’d have to just make one up.”

Bilbo
What's That Smell?

Although he has agreed to make the movie, Peter Jackson is not as readily excited as the executives at New Line.
 
 “I wasn’t really sure about doing the whole prequel thing.  The whole concept really bit George Lucas in the ass, and I didn’t want to destroy the integrity of the other three films.  It’s a fine line to walk between extending the wonder, and just totally fucking everything up.  There’s a dragon in it, so that’s pretty cool, but I really wonder if the fans will submit to a movie that follows one hobbit, a bunch of dwarves, and a batty old wizard.  There are really no hot elves or anything.”
 
When asked how long the cut of “The Hobbit” would be, compared to the other films, Jackson took several minutes to contemplate before giving an answer. 
 
“I think that I could probably tell the story in about 5 hours or so, and the extended special edition would add about 3 hours of extra footage and extended scenes.”
 
“I totally forgot about that whole special edition thing,” said Emerich.  “My god we will make a fortune off this.  Someone just told me that Tolkien wrote a book called the “Silmarillion,” which takes place long before “The Hobbit.”  I smell a pre-prequel in the making here.”
 
“Quite honestly I don’t know how we’d do the “Silmarillion” in less than 12 hours,” said Jackson.  “I prefer to focus on just one project at a time.”

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
GhostElf

*** Production plans to start next month on “The Hobbit,” and like the “Lord of the Rings,” it will be filmed on
location in New Zealand. Leonard Nimoy has stepped forward to add his 1960’s hit, “The Ballad of Bilbo
Baggins,” to the soundtrack. This exciting song and original video can be viewed here.
http://www.myprecious.us/ballad_of_bilbo_baggins.php ***


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