“It's a half-hour television show starring Catherine as the lady with the log. Her husband has been killed in a forest fire and his ashes are on the mantelpiece, with his pipes and his sock hat. He was a woodsman. But the fireplace is completely boarded up. Because she now is very afraid of fire. And she has a small child, but she doesn't drive, so she takes cabs. And each show would start with her making a phone call to some expert in one of the many fields of knowledge. Maybe on this particular day she calls a dentist, but she makes the appointment for her log. And the log goes in the dental chair and gets a little bib and chain and the dentist X-rays the log for cavities, goes through the whole thing, and the son is also there. Because she is teaching her son through his observations of what the log is going through. And then sometimes they go to a diner and they never get to where they're going.”
 
This reporter couldn't make that shit up if he tried, folks.
 
Lynch's fans have long celebrated the director. The president of the David Lynch Fan Association had this to say:

“The less... intelligent may say that the man has no talent. To them, I simply say 'I am really, really smart and not at all pretentious. At all... Seriously.' Stop laughing at me!”

Written & Submitted by
Ace T'Ken

*** Editor’s note: I don’t even think this should be printed. ***