Here are a few things “Trogdor Style” to help your Sexual Etiquette
the next time you’re with the special or not so special person.

Never laugh uncontrollably when your partner disrobes or tries to be sexy
 
Blowing on your penis as it were a smoking gun, as impressive as it is, still may be considered “Cocky”
 
Refrain from rubbing your head ass while saying thar she blows (this is especially rude if you lover is fat)
*** Editor’s Note: I have no idea what a “head ass” is. ***
**** Tha Mike’s Note: Mr. Editor. I'm surprised, you of all people should know what a "head ass" is.****
 
If your lover is crying after the act, place you hand on his/her shoulder and pat 3-5 times.
 
After having sex, DO NOT compare your partner with the stripper you were with the night before, that’s rude.
 
Never offer your lover used condoms as a souvenir
 
Making squeaking noises with your mouth between strokes might suggest you aren’t taking things seriously.
 
Asking your partner to call “a friend” mid act is probably not a good idea.
 
If you’re going to Fake It,  don’t tell your partner before hand.
 
If you’re bored during the act, a few well placed grunts can make it seem like you’re trying hard.
 
If you finish first, do not go to kiss your partner and pull away at the last minute saying, “Ha! Still too slow.”
 
No audible laughing if he “Can’t get it up.”
 
Calling out things like, “I bet you’d like my fist in your ass” is generally frowned upon. (especially if the female is saying it)
 
Never gloat about being the best they ever had, or will ever have.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trogdor