You've
landed yourself a first date, being
that you’re not much to look at,
that's quite an accomplishment. But
it's only the first step to securing
a smooth transition into an eventful
and exciting night. A first date is
about an impression. A man wants to
feel that the woman he is with has not
only thought about the date but also
prepared accordingly. Let me help you
decipher his unspoken expectations for
the evening and what he wants you to
do but would never actually say.
1. Go The Extra Mile
If you greet him with a big kiss at
the front door he'll immediately know
you are interested. You don't have to
have him worrying all night about the
all important kiss goodnight.
In fact if you have the time or you
don't mind, a pre date blowjob would
relieve all the sexual tension and you'll
get to know him a lot better, faster.
2. Be Sexy, Not Slutty
Ok so you got the blowjob out of the
way. That doesn't give you the right
to speak like a whore the rest of the
night. Act shy and timid yet you can
whisper dirty thoughts in his ear or
grope him under the table from time
to time.
It is also a good idea to act like you
are a virgin as well. Oh yeah, chew
and swallow before you start to talk.
That's just disgusting.
3. Be Complimentary
Tell him how he doesn't stink like the
last guy you dated, tell him you love
his penis and would like to get to know
it better later. Tell him he is the
hottest man you ever seen and you cream
your pants at the very thought of him.
4. Be Curious About Him
You're nervous and trying to make sure
that he thinks you're better (and more
original) than the girl he was with
last night The result can often be you
talking, ad nauseum, about all the great
things you've done in your life with
out letting him get to tell you about
himself. Women are better seen, not
heard. Shut the fuck up for 10 seconds
and let him tell you about his comic
collection.
5. Act Like You Have No Confidence
It's important that you show him you
have no confidence. You want him to
think you need him to do everything
for you and that you are just a dumb
broad. Guys respect that. Smart women
are intimidating because they are so
opinionated.
6. Always Have A Backup Plan
Let's say you were planning on having
sex at the end of the night for more
than 5 minutes. Well honey, that's not
gonna happen. If you want to get your
fella going again, make sure you have
one of your hottest female friends on
standby. Invite her over, put on a show
for him and you will get his little
general to rise in no time.
When those 5 minutes are over, at least
you still have your hot friend there.
Have a good time with her. You two deserve
one another anyway, it's not a guys
fault that women are less evolved and
don't cum as fast.
After spending 20 minutes on her, maybe
you'll appreciate with what we have
to deal with.
7. Leave Him Impressed
If you ever want to see him again, make
sure you do things he's never seen,
felt, tried or heard of before. The
only way he'll call you again is if
you make him want to do you again.
When he leaves get that ring bologna
out of the fridge and deep throat the
whole thing at the door without gagging.
Us men find that extremely endearing.
Now Go Get Him
Ladies!
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trogdor
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