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By thamike.com
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Gray Davis Gunned Down In FBI Standoff

SACREMENTO, CA - Recalled Gov. Gray Davis was gunned down today after a two hour FBI standoff.  The Governor had been standing on the roof of the state house naked, with an automatic weapon in each hand.  FBI agents responded after state house staffers reported that shots had been fired.  Authorities arrived to see a naked man firing shots randomly into cars, trees, windows, and mailboxes from the roof. He was identified as Gray Davis only after agents deemed it necessary to use lethal force.
 
"He was screaming, 'That's right, burn you idiots!,'" reports a bystander who wished to remain anonymous. "A bullet whizzed right by my head.  That's when I ran for cover."
 
Another reported seeing him taking frequent, over-indulgent pulls from a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin.

Gray Kill

The agents, through a megaphone, implored the man to cease fire and put down his weapons.  He only responded with threats, repeatedly shouting, "Traitors! You're all traitors! Burn!!" and firing shots into the air.
 
One agent reported that at one point the man called the negotiator a "fucking dumbass traitor" and took a shot at him.  That's when agents gave the "go ahead" to open fire. In a hail of bullets, the man fell from the roof.  He was pronounced dead shortly after.
 
"When I got to the body," Agent Robert Shaw says, "I saw who it was, and I thought, 'Holy shit, we shot the Governor!'  Then I started thinking that maybe it was he who set the fires, and this was meant to be his last stand."
 
He continued, "It's very sad.  I hate the fact we did this, but it was necessary.  We did the right thing. Someone would've been hurt or killed."
 
One of the worst forest fires in Californian history, which began last week, has claimed over 2,800 homes and several lives. They started after an unidentified arsonist threw what is thought to be a "Molotov" Cocktail into the dry Californian brush.  Gray Davis has not been officially identified as a suspect.
 
The governor's funeral is set to take place next Sunday.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika


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