A neighbor said, "He has really seemed to been loosing it lately. He races that damn Slinky(  down every stair case he walks down. Why, just yesterday I saw him racing it down his front steps outside his house. He was a lovely fellow and everybody really liked him. Except his nemesis, the guy that created Hula-Hoop(. They've been known to argue a lot."
 
Fire crews said the inventor/crazy man died before they arrived at the scene.
 
Police spokesperson Beth Reiter commented that, "Arthur 'Spud' Melin, inventor of the Hula-Hoop( and Fris-Bee( will not be sought for question in this case. It is a pretty cut and dry case.  Foul play has been ruled out."
 
The case has now been handed over to Blair County Coroners office, and it is expected that an inquest into his death will be opened later today.
 
James was 81 years old and leaves behind his wife, 3 children, 8 grand children, a religious cult in Bolivia and the Slinky empire.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike