More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Hasbro Introduces Toys Designed To Choke Only Dumber Children

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Hazbro, one of America's biggest toy producers, announced today that it will introduce a new line of children's toys designed to choke only dumb children in time for the holiday season. Officials at Hasbro say their intended market is parents who want to buy new and exciting toys for their children but don't want to lose the smarter ones in the process. One official said, "In surveys we've found that most parents don't care that much for the dumber kids and therefore are willing to sacrifice a couple of slow kids in exchange for cooler toys with more intricate parts."

The first toy from Hazbro's new line will be an action figure called "Solid Plastic Gumball Man," which comes complete with twelve entirely inedible gumball-shaped objects.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Lee Camp

Hasbro's New Logo:
"No Dumb Child Left Alive"

© 2004 faux-newz.com - Fabricated News For The Less Than Holy!
Terms of Service: All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners.
Text comments posted on Tha Mike may not be reposted or broadcasted without mentioning faux-newz.com as the source.
C4 C3