LOS
ANGELES, CA - Homeless
comedian Big Jim Feeler was
unable to think up a funny sign
yesterday to facilitate his
pan-handling. The 38-year-old
frustrated comic admits that
his frustration grew as he watched
old homeless people walk by
with signs reading "Need
Money For Beer And Prostitutes,"
"Tell Me Off For $5,"
and "Will Smell Bad For
Food." Feeler confessed,
"They were all good lines.
I'm pissed I didn't think of
them first." He says he
tried some funny signs of his
own such as, "Pay Me To
Go Away" or "Support
The Cue Card Business,"
but his signs just didn't evoke
a good response from passersby.
"For awhile there I used
the ‘Need Money For Beer
And Prostitutes' sign, but then
somebody noticed I had copied
it from the other guy. They
called me a hack." Feeler
says his plans for the future
include either hiring a writer
or robbing the elderly.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Lee Camp