According to the Keisters, Mr. Dryzinski
began harassing them on New Year's Day
2004 when he left a message on their
answering machine asking if Ron Keister
wanted to come over to watch the toilet
bowl on Mr. Dryzinski's 48-inch plasma
"Since then," said Mr. Keister,
an accountant with Toomer and Roth,
"Dryzinski hasn't missed an opportunity
to tell people that we're addicted to
crack or that our favorite beer is Heiniekin
or that our favorite dance is the can-can.
He even held a Keister egg hunt for
neighborhood children last year.
"The final straw came at Dryzinski's
Christmas party," said Mr. Keister.
"He promised not to make fun of
us, so we went. Then, as soon as we
got there, he said, ‘Hey, everybody,
the assholes from next door are here.'
When I reminded him of his promise,
he laughed and said that he had been
speaking tongue in cheek."
Mr. Dryzinski, a self-employed tattoo
artist, reacted to the Keisters' suit
with a shrug. "I think they're
really making asses of themselves,"
he deadpanned. "They won't get
anywhere giving me the bum's rush. They've
got to learn to put their sensitivity
Judd Zimmerman, the attorney representing
Mr. Dryzinski, argues that the Keisters
"could make this all go away"
if they would simply alter the pronunciation
of their last name.
"I wrote to their lawyer last week,
suggesting that his clients pronounce
their name so that it rhymes with 'blister,'"
said Zimmerman. "They refused.
They're more interested in salving their
wounded pride with my client's money
than they are in resolving this issue.
That's what's at the bottom of this
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer