More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Democrats Claim Ohio's Nonexistence

COLUMBUS, OH - Local and national Democratic Party officials ruled out Ohio's existence Wednesday, according to party insiders. During the national recount of the presidential elections, which only a handful of Democrats are carrying out, the spearheads of the investigation came to a stunning conclusion: the state of Ohio does not exist, and maybe never has.

"This is the apex of Republican Party dirty business,"said Kerry spokeswoman, Mary Beth Cahill. ŽAll this time we have been scrutinizing the Ohio voter disenfranchisement, when all along there was, in fact, no Ohio."

Needless to say, this discovery has both parties up in arms, with democrats driving madly from Massachusetts to Indiana and finding no Ohio in between, to Republicans making frantic phone calls from motels they insist are located in the alleged "Ohio."Although John Kerry has made no comment on the scandal, many in Hollywood have spoken.

Ohio Does Not Exist. And Maybe Never Has

"I always knew there was no Ohio,"actress Susan Sarandon told reporters. "I have met girls who claim to have just moved from Ohio, but I always thought they were up to something. In Hollywood, people from so-called Ohio come and go. That bottle blond hair and those beady little eyes digging for secrets. It's a government plot."All calls to Ohio were not answered or returned.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika

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