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Bush Condemns Poorly Rigged Elections In Ukraine

WASHINGTON D.C. - President Bush came out against the reportedly rigged presidential election in the Ukraine. Recent reports in that country claim that Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovich used foul play in order to steal the election from opposition leader Viktor Yushchenko. President Bush stated that the poorly-rigged election was an egregious crime against democracy.

He said, "If yer gonna' steal an election, do it right! Don't leave yer fingerprints all over the scene of the crime. I've got two words for someone who wants to stuff the ol' ballot box – ‘touch screen.' Touch-screen voting is the way to go. I mean, look at the debacle in the 2000 election because I had to steal it the ol' fashion way, with those damn punch cards. See how much easier it was in my election this year? There's not even a paper trail for God's sake!"

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Lee Camp

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