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By thamike.com
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Undecided Voters Likely To Vote For Kerry

WASHINGTON D.C. - A new poll suggests that undecided voters in many battleground states will most likely cast their ballots for John Kerry eventually. This news comes almost two months after the November elections and President Bush's re-election in a sweeping turnout.

I really feel that John Kerry has more character than Bush," undecided voter Franklin Reminger, 39, of Orlando, Florida, said Monday. "He makes me feel like he knows what he's doing, and when I get around to voting I think I'll cast my ballot for him."

Fellow Floridian Joshua Turner, 21, voiced his support for Kerry in a press conference Tuesday: "I know there's something I was supposed to do a few weeks back, and when I get around to it I'm voting for Kerry."

Voter
Undecided Voter Pondering A
Switch From Decaf To Regular

Election officials cannot account for the overwhelmingly large number of undecided voters who are just now making their choice for president, so many weeks after the final vote was cast. Some cite the tendency of many undecideds to put things off until the last minute.

"What the hell is wrong with these people?" comedian Jerry Seinfeld commented to an empty audience at the Laff Phactory in Missoula Falls. His sentiments have been echoed by much of the mainstream media.
"I think the amount of idiots out there who don't know the election has come and gone is astounding," election watcher David Gergen expressed on Larry King Live this past week. "You'd think they could have made up their minds at least before the week of the election, but to do so only after the votes have been tallied is just plain stupid."

Political pundits across the nation have derided those undecided voters, who seemed such an important factor in the 2004 election up until they failed to show up in November. Exit polls suggested that a lot of undecideds were unsure where they stood on the issues, reluctant to answer questions about their stance on gay marriage, and iffy about peanut butter and jelly in their sandwiches. Most seemed to think that the race was between teen queens Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff, not Kerry or Bush.

The total number of undecideds who have come forward to finally cast their ballots is unknown at press time, but it's believed that enough support for Kerry is evident among the undecided voters that it could very well have turned the election slightly less to Bush's favor. Many remain clueless about the fact that, as it stands, their vote now means nothing.

"I plan to vote for Kerry at least before the Super Bowl," Turner said to reporters. "That way, I think we can all breath a sigh of relief that Bush won't be around for four more years."

To this one bystander replied, "The election's over, idiot! Pull your head out of your ass!"

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trev Danger, Washington Correspondent (It's a Living)


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