SEATTLE, WA - En lieu of numerous lawsuits and federal attempts to break up the company, Bill Gates, founder and CEO of the Microsoft Corporation announced today that his is considering a company name change.

For some reason, Gates called Faux-Newz to briefly explain why.

"I am starting to think that Microsoft was the wrong way to go when I named the company. It makes us sound small and weak, flaccid even. I would like to name the company in a way that lets people know that we are fucking huge and we are nothing to be trifled with. I want to make sure all these frivolous lawsuits that will never go anywhere stop." said Gates on our voicemail.

He continued, "Right now I’m leaning towards Untouchable Monopoly or G.O.D. (Gargantuan Overlords of Destruction, hell at this point it wouldn't matter if I named the company Fuck You. Hell, I'm Bill Fucking Gates, I can do whatever I want."

Gates concluded the message that the name Maxihard could be a possibility as well for certain camp value.