Tri-Star
Pictures of Burbank, CA has announced
that filming has begun on the first
motion picture to disregard the long-standing
“Scene Where The Characters Dance
Around To a Beloved Classic Rock Song”
rule that has dominated the “romantic
comedy”, “warm family dramedy”,
”funny action”, and “feel
good movie of the year” genres
for many years.
The film reportedly stars Hugh Grant
and Kyra Sedgwick as Manhattan restaurant
critics whose professional rivalry belies
their hot romantic attraction. Joan
Cusack is slated to support as the “wacky
friend” and Brian Cox will be
the “old actor desperate for an
Oscar at the twilight of his career”,
playing Grant's curmudgeonly father,
a postal worker.
(Editor’s note: Brian Cox does
deserve an Oscar. Like 12 of them.)
The working title for the film is “Last
Door on the Left” and it is slated
for release Easter weekend.
While all these elements are required
by Hollywood to be in every romantic
comedy, there is one glaring omission:
There will be no scenes in which a recognizable
oldie will be played while the characters
dance, notice each other's cute peccadilloes,
or desperately search the city for one
another to declare their undying love.
“We are actually going for a completely
orchestral score. There will be no pop
music tie-ins whatsoever” said
Richard Rozenstienburg, VP of project
development at Tri-Star: “There
has not been a movie, with the exception
of sci-fi, fantasy, or so-called “independents”
since The Big Chill that has not featured
one of these types of scenes, and we
think it's time for a change.”
Other Tinseltown luminaries are not
so confident: production legend Jerry
Bruckheimer simply laughs at the mere
mention of such a concept. “Audiences
will have no pivot, no anchor to keep
the story real and grounded without
an oldie scene. This concept is doomed
to failure, I'm sorry to say.”
The prevailing wisdom is that only time
will tell whether this groundbreaking,
bold creative decision will bear fruit
or wither on the vine: Tri-Star is betting
on a lot of fruits.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tom Cox
(Editor’s
note: As of press time, Tri-Star informed
Faux-Newz that they also intend to completely
eradicate the “Work Montage,”
in which the main characters clumsily
build some object, i.e. boat, gazebo,
etc., that they’ve been procrastinating
on, to an uplifting soundtrack.
Future plans to get rid of “The
Wacky Shopping Montage” and “The
Training For The Big Event Montage”
were also discussed.) |