More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
Horse And Buggery - By Gary @ TSHIRTHELL.com

As most of you probably know I was born and raised in the Amish community. It was a simple life. We farmed; we ate only frozen waffles; and played Twister. When an Amish child reaches their 16th birthday, there is a rite of passage called Rumspringa. They go out into the "English World" to see if they prefer it, before joining the Amish church.

Needless to say I chose to stay in the "English World" Frozen waffles are much better when you can put them in an electric toaster, instead of leaving them on the windowsill to thaw.

But now my father is getting older and my mother wants me to come back and run the family porn business.

Porn is the number 1 industry in the Amish community, just ahead of our Meth labs. When you hear the Amish talking about a "Barn Raising" they are referring to a sex act that is somewher between a Dirty Sanchez and a Cleveland Steamer. Oh, how the Amish love a "Barn Raising". Amish men do not have mustaches because they thought they made their porn movies look like they were from the 70's. Plus, they interfere when they tongue each other's assholes. Amish girls are incredibly sexual. You've never had a handjob until you've had one from a girl who works a butter churn all day.

So now I have to decide whether to stay here in the glamorous world of high fashion, or return to a more simple existence of filming teenage girls getting fucked by goats. Stay tuned. Or as we say in the Amish community, "un di hallichkeit in ayvichkeit".

Written & Submitted by
Gary From TSHIRTHELL.com

© 2004 faux-newz.com - Fabricated News For The Less Than Holy!
Terms of Service: All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners.
Text comments posted on Tha Mike may not be reposted or broadcasted without mentioning faux-newz.com as the source.
C4 C3