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By thamike.com
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Meat Loaf Advised To Change Name

LONDON, ENGLAND - After collapsing on stage during a recent concert in Wembly Arena, Doctors have advised  singer/actor Meat Loaf that in order to continue living, he must change his name to a much healthier form of food.
 
After the collapse, Meat Loaf was diagnosed with Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome. WPWS is a heart disorder in which the heart beats irregularly.

Doctors performed a surgical procedure intended to correct this problem, however they advised that without a change of name the singer’s condition would surely continue to get worse.
 
Meat Loaf changed his name in the late 1950’s from Marvin Lee Aday.
 
“The kids in school would always make fun of my name and I hated it. The depression from it always caused me to eat as much as possible, so I became a fat kid. One day in lunch I was dared to eat everyone’s lunch at my table and I did. The lunch that day was, of course, meatloaf. I’m just glad it wasn’t tripe with gravy sauce,” he was quoted as saying in a 1983 People Magazine interview.

Banana Bread
Banana Bread: Because
Tofu Loaf Sounds Too Gay

“Meat isn’t happy about having another name change.  It means he’ll have to go to the DMV and deal with all the bureaucracy.  I wonder what he’ll do with all those huge pairs of pajamas with his name embroidered on them. Well, I guess they can serve as huge tents for homeless people in the area,” Said Meat Loaf’s manager, Stu Jackson. He continued. “I guess right now the names he is toying with is either Tofu Loaf or Banana Bread.”
 
Meat Loaf was not available for comment but we’ve heard if you listen real closely while standing outside of his Beverly Hills Mansion at night you can hear him say over and over, “My name is Robert Paulson.”

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike


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