the bathroom, Snyder found that the
wet fart had not only penetrated his
underwear, but the stain went completely
through his jeans as well. “Fuck,”
he said aloud. “I shat my fucking
pants.” Then he remembered, “Oh
my God, the couch!”
The couch, fortunately, was stainless.
After throwing the soiled garments in
the laundry and cleaning himself up,
Snyder changed clothes and went back
to his previous activities, still a
little shaken by the experience.
However, he was proud that he was able
to shut it down before even more excreta
was allowed to escape.
“I don’t even know the first
thing about getting shit stains
out of a couch.”
Despite the harrowing experience, Snyder
has no plans to alter his diet.
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer