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By thamike.com
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The Satire Awards Nominee (Current Events) : 4/1/04 - 6/30/04
"We Were Hijacked By Al Qaeda, I Had A Great Time!"

PORTLAND, Maine - A Moroccan-bound jetliner that was hi-jacked over the weekend by an Al Qaeda operative has passengers of the airline raving over how great of an experience they had in his care.

Sally McBride of seat 16b explained what happened, "It was just after take off, I just started to watch the in-flight movie Punch Drunk Love and I remember thinking to myself, this movie is fucking terrible, I wish something interesting would happen. Just then it did. A dark skinned man got up and started calmly and softly talking about something, then he grabbed a stewardess and held a baby pacifier to her throat. Once he got our attention he explained to us that he meant us no harm and that this was his first time hi-jacking anything."

McBride continued, "Basically he stood in front of us and explained how his operation was perceived all wrong and that they were used as an initially scapegoat by GWB because the government was not ready to attack Iraq. He was a very nice guy and I have to say, I believe him...

Qaedie
Billy Dovers & An Unidentified
Passenger Share Pleasent Stories
About Their New Al Qaeda Friend

"Qaedie" Puts On A Smile For The Cameras

I really hope I keep in contact with him, we have become very good friends and that's all he really wanted... some friends."

Other passengers explained how the hijacker asked them if they would like warm moist towels for their faces, he got them out blankets and pillows and even helped serve the in flight meal. The whole time taking time to speak with every passenger individually about how he hoped they were enjoying their flight.

When authorities got wind of this hijacking by an unknown source, they scrambled 3 F-22 Raptors to intercept the jetliner before it reached international waters.

Captain Russ Taggert said of when the jet's arrived, "We called "Qaedie" (K.D.) as we liked to call him, into the cock pit. A pilot from one of the jets explained to him that if he did not allow me (the captain) to land the plan that it would be shot down. Before he responded I informed the jet pilot that I never told him he couldn't land and he had complete control of the plane. The jet pilot sounded confused and asked if I would please land the plane, Qaedie said we should so I did. He was such a sweet guy."

David Grough of New York City said, "You know, after September 11th, I think these Al Qaeda fellas got a really bad rap. Now I see that they aren't so bad after all. Any man who takes control of a plane and then gives me a foot massage, extra pillow and 4 bags of peanuts can't be all that bad in my book. I like the take control type."

Billy Dovers an 8 year old in seat 47a said, "We colored in my coloring book and he read me a story. We were hijacked by Al Qaeda, so what, I had a great time!"
The plane, carrying 81 extremely pleased passengers and 10 smiling crewmembers, landed at Bangor International Airport in Maine around 11:15 p.m., officials said.

The hijacker whose name is not being released at this time is currently in the custody of the FBI for questioning. Seeing that he did nothing wrong beside makes some friends and served some people, he will not be charged.

Due to the extremely good service and customer raves Morocco Air planes to market their new Al Qaeda Frequent Hijacker program sometime this fall.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike


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