FN -
How exactly do you find them?
AR -
I walk around with some sandwiches,
Cysco or Mad Dog and loose change in
a coffee cup. You’ll see that
most times the homeless men come flocking
to me like pigeons in a park to someone
with a loaf of old bread. Which incidentally
also works with the homeless.
FN -
I have to ask, what the hell is “Milking
the Homeless” anyway?
AR -
Well, don’t freak out ok?
FN -
I won’t, believe me. In my many
years of covering news stories I have
see some very odd things.
AR -
OK, well “Milking the Homeless
consists of me finding a few homeless
men a day and me extracting their semen
either by masturbation or by fellatio
depending on how bad they smell.
FN -
WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG
WITH YOU!!! PULL OVER, LET ME OUT OF
THIS FUCKING CAR YOU PYSCHO!!!
AR -
Calm down, I asked you not to freak
out.
FN -
WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THIS?
AR -
Look, I feel like I am performing a
semi-clean, wholesome Civic Duty by
doing this. The homeless need to come
too.
FN -
CIVIC DUTY??? There is really something
wrong with you. How could you say that
with a straight face? You can’t
be doing this for this reason, you have
to be getting something out of it.
AR -
Oh of course I get something out of
it. I get the pleasure of pleasing someone
in need and you wouldn’t believe
how much the local Sperm Bank pays for
ejaculate.
FN -
You can actually make good money doing
this?
AR -
You’d be amazed, on a good day
I can PULL in a few hundred dollars.
Sure I know it’s dirty work, but
it’s an untapped resource and
someone has to do it.
FN -
So you’re telling me a Sperm Bank
in this town pays for the come of homeless
people and sells it for artificial insemination?
Which one, because I certainly see a
story for next week?
AR -
I can’t tell you that, but yes,
they pay for it and distribute it. They
have a very high demand and I supply
them with their shortage.
FN -
So hundreds of women in this town are
or about to become preggers from the
jizz of homeless men? You don’t
see anything wrong with that?
AR -
Yep, and I don’t see it as a problem
either.
FN -
What about overloading the population
with the same gene pool or what the
women would think if they were walking
thru the park and they notice little
Billy looks like Russell the crazy toothless
bum sleeping on the park bench?
AR -
First of all Detroit is wonderful and
huge city so there is diversity, but
the people living here are all scum
anyway, so what does it really matter
if this fucks the population up more?
That won’t be for many, many years
anyway. As far as little Billy goes,
well the mother could have done things
the right way and just picked the best
looking guy she could have found at
the local bar to get her pregnant, then
she would have had a little fun and
would have known the genes would be
good.
FN -
You are the most disgustingly freakish
person on the planet! You aren’t
doing a Civic Duty, you’re polluting
society and profiting off of peoples
lives and emotions.
< The Car Stops At A Red Light And
I Scream While Running Away From The
Car >
FUCK YOU, YOU CRAZY WHORE! I HOPE YOU
DIE, I HOPE YOU DIE AND GO TO HELL!!!!
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike
|