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By thamike.com
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Woman Does Civic Duty “Milking The Homeless”

DETROIT, MI - Emily Testerson of Auburn Hills a Detroit suburb believes she has found her niche’ in life and she is doing her Civic Duty to help the less fortunate. She calls it “Milking the Homeless”.

Faux-Newz had the opportunity to tag along with Testerson recently on a recent milking excursion to see and ask exactly what “Milking the Homeless is.

FN - Ms. Testerson, we appreciate you allowing us to tag along with you today. Where are we heading to?

AR - Well, what I like to do is drive into some of the less then par sections of this fantastic city to locate some homeless men.

Homeless
Testerson Relieves Satisfied Homeless
Man While Another Waits In Anticipation

FN - How exactly do you find them?

AR - I walk around with some sandwiches, Cysco or Mad Dog and loose change in a coffee cup. You’ll see that most times the homeless men come flocking to me like pigeons in a park to someone with a loaf of old bread. Which incidentally also works with the homeless.

FN - I have to ask, what the hell is “Milking the Homeless” anyway?

AR - Well, don’t freak out ok?

FN - I won’t, believe me. In my many years of covering news stories I have see some very odd things.

AR - OK, well “Milking the Homeless consists of me finding a few homeless men a day and me extracting their semen either by masturbation or by fellatio depending on how bad they smell.

FN - WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! PULL OVER, LET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING CAR YOU PYSCHO!!!

AR - Calm down, I asked you not to freak out.

FN - WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THIS?

AR - Look, I feel like I am performing a semi-clean, wholesome Civic Duty by doing this. The homeless need to come too.

FN - CIVIC DUTY??? There is really something wrong with you. How could you say that with a straight face? You can’t be doing this for this reason, you have to be getting something out of it.

AR - Oh of course I get something out of it. I get the pleasure of pleasing someone in need and you wouldn’t believe how much the local Sperm Bank pays for ejaculate.

FN - You can actually make good money doing this?

AR - You’d be amazed, on a good day I can PULL in a few hundred dollars. Sure I know it’s dirty work, but it’s an untapped resource and someone has to do it.

FN - So you’re telling me a Sperm Bank in this town pays for the come of homeless people and sells it for artificial insemination? Which one, because I certainly see a story for next week?

AR - I can’t tell you that, but yes, they pay for it and distribute it. They have a very high demand and I supply them with their shortage.

FN - So hundreds of women in this town are or about to become preggers from the jizz of homeless men? You don’t see anything wrong with that?

AR - Yep, and I don’t see it as a problem either.

FN - What about overloading the population with the same gene pool or what the women would think if they were walking thru the park and they notice little Billy looks like Russell the crazy toothless bum sleeping on the park bench?

AR - First of all Detroit is wonderful and huge city so there is diversity, but the people living here are all scum anyway, so what does it really matter if this fucks the population up more? That won’t be for many, many years anyway. As far as little Billy goes, well the mother could have done things the right way and just picked the best looking guy she could have found at the local bar to get her pregnant, then she would have had a little fun and would have known the genes would be good.

FN - You are the most disgustingly freakish person on the planet! You aren’t doing a Civic Duty, you’re polluting society and profiting off of peoples lives and emotions.

< The Car Stops At A Red Light And I Scream While Running Away From The Car >

FUCK YOU, YOU CRAZY WHORE! I HOPE YOU DIE, I HOPE YOU DIE AND GO TO HELL!!!!

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike


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