More Than Ever Before.
By thamike.com
FDA Approves Do-It-Yourself Home Vasectomy Kit

The Food and Drug Administration has given the green light for the sale of "do-it-yourself" vasectomy kits. The kits, manufactured in Haiti by Ronco Industries, will be marketed under the brand name Sperminator. Approval for the Sperminator kits was "fast tracked" by the FDA under pressure from HMO's who will gain financially by no longer covering physician assisted vasectomies under their standard benefits packages.

Ronco spokesperson, Ronald Popiel, told Faux News that this product has been "extensively tested" and that it is "safe, effective, and fun". He went on to explain that every Sperminator kits will come with detailed instructions in English, Spanish, French, and Ebonics. Each kit contains a mirror, alcohol wipes, a genuine Ginsu knife, tweezers, and a stapler. Popiel claims that "most people can perform the procedure in less than 15 minutes".

With The New "Do-It-Yourself" Vasectomy
Kits You'll No Longer Have To Put Up
WIth Unwanted Bastards Like These

Ronco plans to mass market the Sperminator in the US market by way of their popular 30 minute infomercial format. The infomercials will focus on the ease of use, for example one segment already completed shows a pack of Cub Scouts performing the self sterilization procedure on themselves in less than ten minutes. Ronco also plans to offer incentives such as a free "Pocket Fisherman" with every kit purchased.

Written And Submitted by
Dr. Dave

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