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By thamike.com
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NFL To Draft Female Players

ESPN STUDIOS - BRISTOL, CN - NFL senior vice president of public relations, Greg Aiello, announced at a press conference today that the NFL would begin to allow female players among their ranks. “Not only players, but Towel Girls, Water Girls, etc.,” Aiello stated.
“It’s been a long time coming,” said Aiello. “But after some back and forth we at the NFL have decided to spread open the flood-gates. Let’s give these ladies a test-drive.”

This decision has had an unexpectedly positive reaction from coaches and players alike.

Oakland Raiders Coach Norv Turner seemed positive about the idea. “I think it’s about time we took these fine, talented young ladies out to the field”

When asked about the diminishing numbers of female athletes who wish to play college football these days, Coach Turner replied “Nonsense. There are women clawing at each other to get into the NFL. Did you know we can draft them right out of high-school now? I can hardly wait.” He added that he intended to research several high-schools in Miami, New Orleans, Dallas, and San Diego.

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When asked whether there would be equality issues within the team upon inclusion of females, or that the female presence would hinder the teams’ efficiency, Turner answered, “It will do absolutely nothing to hinder any team. From the battlefield to the showers they will be as one. A sweaty, well-lubricated physical machine. A force to be reckoned with.”

Future female NFL players just out of high-school are already said to have been meeting with teams and coaches, who are positive that women will be active on the field as soon as 2005.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika


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