“Me and the boys thought it would be funny to stir something up,” he continued. “We wanted to see the look on Senator Kerry's face when he saw them. The ads themselves weren't real. They were a sham. We were just having a good time.”

When asked about Kerry's sentiments towards the false allegations, Bush replied that Kerry “is taking this thing way out of sorts.”

“What an over-reactor,” Bush told reporters. I never thought he would've been so upset over something like this. I mean, we were half-stoned when we came up with the figure of $900 million...We never anyone would have believed us. We just thought Kerry would think it was funny too.

The Kerry Headquarters issued a response shortly after the speech at the White House.

We are happy that this President has finally admitted to his lying tactics, the report said. Now we should concentrate on defeating this liar in November. We should concentrate on putting a decent man in the White House.

In reaction to the Kerry campaign's response, the President flipped off the television camera that had first reported Kerry's reaction.

See you next January Johnny boy, he said to the camera. I'll see you when I'm giving the State of the Union, whileyou're sitting BELOW me on the floor with your thumb up your poo-hole. Talk to me then John.

In other news, more one hundred or so American soldiers have died in the past two weeks.

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A_High_Ranking_US_Official