He
then put both arms in the air and shouted,
I mean c'mon, my wife has to help me
take a piss...a piss man!
Rumsfeld continued by saying that there
is no reason for him to take the blame
for the US soldiers who were shown committing
the abuse.
Now you tell me, why would I want to
admit my guilt for some mixed up soldier
who gets off on sticking broomsticks
up guys asses? he questioned.
I'm not going to jail for that.
I didn't do it, he continued.
Or at least I don't think I did.
Laughing, Rumsfeld added there was actually
this one crazy weekend when I had a
few too many mimosas, if you know what
I mean, and I sorta blacked out for
a couple days.
When asked by reporters when exactly
he blacked out, Rumsfeld took a few
moments before answering. I think it
was sometime in February, he said.
I remember because someone took pictures
of Condi and I dressed up like cupid,
and I remember Uncle Dick (Vice President
Cheney}was scarfing down chocolates
all over the place.
The Secretary added that he couldn't
have abused any prisoners, because there
were no images of Iraqis in any of the
pictures from what Rumsfeld called his
lost weekend of debauchery.
There was, however, one picture of me
and (Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul})Wolfawitz.
We were spooning and I still had my
cupid outfit on, he said. Then
making a classic Rumsfeld smirk towards
committee members, but I think Georgie
and Colin must have put us like that
when we were passed out. They're always
doing things like that.
When Senator John Warner of Virginia
asked Rumsfeld to please return to the
topic at hand, the Secretary responded
Yessir. Sorry sir. I am not guilty.
I mean I plead not guilty. There
is absolutely no reason for me to take
any responsibility or accountability
for the actions of the troops. Unless,
of course, they do something good.
As this story was being published, Spc.
Jeremy Sivitz received a one-year prison
sentence for his role in the abuse.
Rumsfeld, on the other hand, was seen
getting tanked at The Reef, a hip new
bar in Washington.
Written
& Submitted by
A_High_Ranking_US_Official
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