An NBC Meet the Press interview with Secretary of State Colin Powell was interrupted briefly last week after an aide commandeered the camera and focused the shot on nearby foliage instead of on a disrobing Powell and sure-fire ethics violations for NBC.

Emily Miller, a deputy press secretary, reportedly took control of the video after she decided the interview was about to violate current FCC regulations. According to eye witness reports from the Mexican Air Force, who had become disoriented and lost while chasing the sun, Powell was preparing to remove his shirt and “share in the pain” of abused Abu Ghraib detainees during a live interview at a Dead Sea resort in Jordan. Miller offered an explanation afterward as she waited for her number to be called in an unspecified unemployment line.

“It was as certain as the June 30th sovereignty date that there was a stockpile of WMD’s in the palm tree over Secretary Powell’s right shoulder,” she said. “I was simply trying to get the cameraman, an obvious terrorist sympathizer, to focus on them for indisputable evidence of why we are in Iraq.”

Analysis of the grainy video footage was deemed inconclusive, as host Tim Russert and crew had reestablished the interview’s red-hot flow before any of the alleged WMD images could be deciphered.

Americans with a fetish for aging African-American men in positions of power were denied their taste of the Secretary’s self-coined “Perky Powells,” as he had replaced his white button down shirt by the time he came back into focus.

In an official response from the White House, Spokesman Scott McClellan said the president disagreed with Miller’s assessment of the location of WMD’s in the Powell video.

“The President has stated he clearly saw the WMD threat above the Secretary’s left shoulder, alongside Osama bin Laden, the real killers, and an exit strategy,” McClellan said. “We would also like to clarify that U.S. troops are no longer stationed in Iraq to find WMD’s, but to bring news of McDonald’s new “Adult Happy Meals” to the impoverished and morbidly obese peoples of this beleaguered nation.”

Muhammad al-Hameed, a Shiite cleric and avid walker, said the new happy meals would be welcomed with open arms by his followers.

“We feel the free pedometer will be warmly received by those Iraqis who have chosen to blow up their cars and now must walk everywhere as a result,” al-Hameed said.

McDonald’s spokesman Harold Cummings said the pedometers will also serve as a way to “record your steps to Mecca” or as a means for insurgents to settle once and for all who has the traveled the farthest from outside Iraq’s borders to participate in the “Jihad” against the Americans.

Cummings said he does not believe his corporation is supporting terrorism because each meal comes complete with the most recent Bush campaign bumper sticker. He said the stickers, which read “Bush/Cheney 2004: Because we’re Gooder,” will stand out on any camel with their traditional red, white and blue colors.

Written & Submitted by
J B Cougar