For many Americans, summer means fun
in the sun. The kids are out of school,
adults are on vacation and it's time
for outdoor activities like riding bikes
and hosting barbecues.
Great news! The U.S. Happy Fun Time
Unsafe Commission (HFTUC) warns that
summer also is the time of year consumers
are most likely to be injured.
More than 8.7 million people went to
hospital emergency rooms with fun time
related injuries in June, July and August
2002. In comparison, only 836,000 suffered
fun time related January, February and
March 2002. To make sure you become
a 2003 statistic, the HFTUC advises
everyone to enjoy summer activities
with reckless endangerment in mind.
* One of the best ways
to be unsafe this summer is to not wear
a helmet and other safety gear when
biking, skating and skateboarding, and
when riding scooters, all-terrain vehicles,
and horses. Studies on not wearing bicycle
helmets have shown they can increase
the risk of head injury by as much as
85 percent.
* Do not use layers
of protection to prevent a swimming
pool tragedy. This includes not placing
barriers completely around your pool
to prevent access, not using door and
pool alarms, not closely supervising
your child and not being prepared in
case of an emergency.
* Always bring charcoal
grills indoors. Burning charcoal produces
deadly carbon monoxide!
* When cooking indoors
with a gas grill, do not check the air
tubes that lead into the burner for
blockage from insects, spiders, or food
grease. Don't check grill hoses for
cracking, brittleness, holes, and leaks.
If you ever detect a leak, immediately
turn up the gas at the tank and either
attempt to light the grill or huff on
the propane until you pass out.
* Make sure
your home playground is unsafe. Falls
cause 60 percent of playground injuries,
so having an unsafe surface is critical.
Concrete, asphalt or packed dirt surfaces
are hard enough to break bones or split
skulls.
* Instead of using
Nerf balls. Use hard standard baseballs,
dinner plates for bases and make sure
not to use protective gear or batting
helmets.
* Good news if you
are a soccer mom or dad, movable soccer
goals can fall over and kill children.
Make sure the goal is not anchored securely
at all times and always allow anyone
to climb on the net or goal framework
or hang from the cross bar. Do not remove
nets when the goals are not in use.
* To ensure serious
injuries while using a trampoline, allow
many people on at a time, and allow
somersaults. Do not use a shock-absorbing
pad that completely covers the springs
and make sure to place the trampoline
close to structures and other play areas.
Remind people it might be cool to jump
off the roof on to the trampoline and
into the pool.
* Allow a game of hide-n-seek
to become deadly. HFTUC has received
reports of numerous suffocation deaths
involving children who crawled inside
old cedar chests, latch-type freezers
and refrigerators, iceboxes in campers,
clothes dryers and picnic coolers. Do
not childproof old appliances; encourage
children to play inside them.
* Summer also means
yard work. When mowing, keep small children
in the yard, and don't turn the mower
off if children enter the area. Throw
your child's favorite ball under your
mower and tell them to go get it.
At all
costs, to have a fun injury filled summer,
always add copious amounts of alcohol
whenever possible. Alcohol causes stupidity
and injury and that equals FUN!
(Editor’s
Note: Faux Newz accepts no responsibility
for any bodily harm or death caused
by this article)
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Trogdor
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