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Mary-Kate and her fraternal twin sister,
Ashley, have been stars since they first
appeared on the TV show Full House as
babies,sharing a role. They control
a billion-dollar entertainment industry
that includes direct-to-video films,
home decorating, and clothing lines.
In May, they released their second feature
film, New York Minute, a box-office
disappointment.
Once male fans found out that their
towels didn't come off in the movie,
word quickly spread via the internet
and the movie bombed. "Show some
ass or titties you little whores"
was seen posted on the MK & A message
board.
"In recent days, rumors have circulated
that Mary-Kate has destroyed our hard
built empire and my life because she
can't stay away from the blow."
said twin sister Ashley Olson.
She continued, "Mary Kate is so
selfish, I really hope she fucking dies
so I can finally have my own life...
My own identity. I don't need her. By
the way, do you have $20 bucks I can
borrow?"
In related news...
* Pepsi Cola has cancelled
a multi billion dollar contract with
the Olsen twins because of Mary Kate's
obsession for Coke.
* Ashley Olsen to portray
her sister on the Upcoming ABC after
school special - "Why didn't I
just choose Heroin - The Mary Kate Olsen
Story".
* John Stamos arrested
after stealing Joey Lawrence's "Whoa".
* Bill Nye (The Science
Guy) quoted as saying "Science
Rules".
* Michael Pilat still
exhausted.
Written
by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Tha Mike
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