“On the charge of authorizing the execution of several political rivals over the past 30 years, how do you plead?” Cochran rushed to stifle the defendant again, but was too late.

“I was drunk at the time,” the deposed dictator interjected. “They had it coming, dressed like that.”

“On the charge of unlawfully invading Kuwait in 1990,” the judge continued, “How do you plead?”

Despite Cochran’s attempts to keep his defendant silent, Hussein lashed out again. “Which Kuwait?” he asked. “The Iraqi one or the Kuwaiti one?”

Hussein was defiant throughout the entire proceeding often calling on witnesses who weren’t present. He had to be reminded repeatedly that he was in a preliminary hearing and not currently standing trial.

When asked about his involvement with the unlawful attack on Iran, he blustered about Bebe Rebozo and slumped down in his chair, resigning himself to mumbling inaudibly and biting his nails, throughout the rest of the hearing.

Johnny Cochran stood and said, “Your Honor, the defendant pleads not guilty on all counts.”

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Russell Paika