| "Are you one
of those ones that looks like a lady,
but is really a dude, with a penis?"
Remember, safety first. The good thing
is you don't have to wear a condom.
In honor of the convention, all of the
hookers are disease free.
The next thing to remember, is when
you attend the convention is to leave
your pointy ears at home. It's not that
kind of convention you lonely, pathetic,
pimple faced, Postal playing, fanboy,
loser. That is not one of those tree
people from Lord of the Rings, it's
John Kerry. That is not a Klingon Warrior,
it's just Janet Reno. You, on the other
hand, should just take whatever hooker
you can get, and just be grateful. Remember
to hide your bus fare underneath the
dumpster.
A lot of you may heard that Ronald Reagan
will be addressing the crowd, and are
looking forward to seeing a cool, rotting,
zombie of an ex-president lumbering
through the convention killing delegates
and eating their brains. This is not
the case. Apparently there is an effeminate
little man who is also called Ronald
Reagan there to discuss something called
stem cell research. This is just a fancy
name for the old, "101 uses for
a dead baby" routine. While this
sounds like something that might be
funny, it is in fact boring.
If you should encounter Hillary Rodham
Clinton, it is appropriate to address
her as, "Your Former First Lady
Senatorness" and not by the more
familiar, " Wassup, bitch?"
Try not to stare at her giant legs,
do avoid her atomic breath, and whatever
you do, please refrain from asking,
"Are you one of those ones that
looks like a lady, but is really a dude,
with a penis?"
For those of you planning to watch it
on TV, you might want to know that as
an alternative, they've just released
a special VIP edition of the movie,
"Showgirls". Yes, Elizabeth
Berkley has an enormous flat ass that
resembles two loaves of French bread
placed side by side, but overall this
movie is a real gem. I believe it includes
a deleted scene with her taking a cumshot
full in the face. Or that might be on
the VIP edition of "Saved by the
Bell" Season 4. Either one will
be a better choice.
Written
& Submitted by
Gary
From TSHIRTHELL.com
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