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By thamike.com
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Bally’s announces new "Pornorobics"

LOS ANGELES, CA - In an effort to combat waning health club membership, last year Bally’s health club in Hollywood, CA introduced the bizarre and risque' "strip-aerobics". With hopes of following on that success, Bally’s today announced a new “Pornorobics” to mixed comments from critics.

"We figured, hey, we’ve already got people naked," explained Jim Wankford, director of the Hollywood Bally’s, "This is just the next logical step. Besides, we’re in Hollywood. Most of the people signing up for the class are going to need these skills to land their next job. Just look at the graduates of our prototype class: Beyonce Knowles, Mandy Moore, Clint Howard. Okay, I think Clint just took the class so he could get laid, but the other two have no visible talent whatsoever, and just look at their careers." Knowles and Moore were unavailable for comment.

Knowles/Moore
Knowles & Moore "The secret of our success."
We asked Bunni, one of the Pornorobics students what she thought of the class. "Oh, I love it! I had a little trouble choosing a class partner at first, but when I found out we switch every week, I started loving it."

When asked if this was another fad workout trend that they intended to take nationwide, Bally’s executives said they could see this spreading like a hooker’s legs. Soon everyone from Mormons to Midwest housewives will be able to hone their skills while toning their bodies.

In a related story, Bally’s has announced plans to renovate the exercise classrooms of every one of their health clubs nationwide. Each renovated classroom will include double-thick padding under the carpet, twenty strategically positioned cameras, and K-Y dispensers on each wall.

Also in related news, Bally’s has recently registered the HealthClubGangBang.com domain and inked a deal with Full Frontal Productions to manage the new site.

Written by Faux-Newz Staff Writer
Nerraux


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