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Tax Tips From Russell Paika Esq.

Tax day is coming up! You little shits better be ready, because Uncle Sam wants your money. Like a south-side pimp who fucked your wife and wants his grocery money back, the U.S. government is here to collect. Not a big deal. They just want to stick their beak in a little. Maybe just a couple of inches...

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Kerry Defines Bush

In recent months since being named the Democratic nominee for the next presidential election John Kerry has recently admitted that he feels bad for calling President Bush many things, but not the one thing he should have all along...

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Trump To Fire Hair

Donald Trump, millionaire business mogul, announced his intentions to fire his hairdo, today. Chalking it up to “creative differences,” Mr. Trump believes the exodus of his “sleeping animal”-like hairdo would be beneficial to Trump Enterprises...

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Bush Admits TV Ads Are A "Sham"

In a surprise speech given on the South Lawn yesterday, President Bush admitted to reporters that his latest string of TV ads were actually made-up by White House officials...

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New Winner's Platform Will Be To Revive The Once Venerable "I Before E Except After C."
Pre-Nup Could Be Null And Void Due To Pinky Swear
FCC Fines Rice Krispies "Snap Crackle Pop"
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Newz For The Weeks Of
4/12/04 - 4/25/04

Issue # 25

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